Drunken Uncle
by Hayseed Socrates
Summary: Jane gives Rigsby a hand - Jane/Lisbon if you squint. Just a little one shot from Rigsby's POV. Inspired by the time Rigsby referred to Jane as their "drunken uncle." Light inner monologue with a touch of bittersweet angst. Hope you enjoy it.


Disclaimer: I do not own the Mentalist, and no copyright infringement is intended. I'm just playing with these wonderful characters in a nonprofit manner.

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It's four thirty in the afternoon, and I'm feeling pretty pleased with myself. I've made it through the entire day without getting food all over my best suit. Which I'm wearing because the annual CBI awards banquet is happening after work today. Yup, our team has the best close rate in the department, and we're getting recognized tonight.

It's kind of a big deal, really. We're all riding over together at five fifteen (can't miss the free drinks 'til six) because the parking is tight over there, and its supposed to rain. I'm not the only one who wore a little something special today, either. Grace looks beautiful. It's been distracting, honestly, because it's been really quiet and I always end up looking at her too much on quiet days.

Cho has on his Sunday best, and even the Boss got dolled up. It sounds bad, but most days I forget she's a woman, so when she dresses up it's kind of a shock. Jane looks, well, the same. The Boss had to twist his arm to get him to agree to go to this, but he has made it his mission today to make sure everyone knows how nice she looks, and we've all enjoyed the fun.

Florencia. I'm finishing up the file I've been working on when I see her coming, and my heart sinks. She begins to apologize from down the hall. "Am sorry, Mister Reegsby (she pronounces my name funny, and she won't call me Wayne)." Florencia is the lady who keeps Ben, and she's got him on her hip and she's lugging his bag of stuff with her. I know this is bad.

"Mother have heart attack, Mister Reegsby! I peek Beeen up at the day care and they call me from hospital. She in Emergency Room. Eees her heart. So sorry, I must go. She have no one but me."

I jump up to help her with the bag, and I can feel everyone's eyes on me. Even Jane sits up on his couch. Her whole face is apologetic, and there's really nothing I can say but, "I understand, Florencia. I hope your mother will be okay." I mean it, but boy is this bad timing.

Ben is delighted to see me, which helps. His smiling face is the best thing in my life, like, ever. But I'm not going to pretend. Disappointed doesn't begin to cover how I feel right now. This banquet is the kind of thing where you get noticed. The kind of thing that really helps a career. And now I'm going to have to miss it.

Cho pipes up, "Can Sarah take him?"

"She's in Phoenix, visiting her sister."

By now the Boss has come out of her office. Wow, Jane is right. She does look nice. "Any other sitters you can use?" she asks.

"Not anybody that I can get this fast. I'll just have to miss." I try not to sound as crushed as I am, but I don't think I succeed.

Then I hear Jane's voice, and he's getting up off the couch. "I'll keep him, Rigsby!" He sounds…enthusiastic.

"But you're supposed to go to the banquet, too."

"Meh, it's not going to make a difference to me, now is it? What, I'll be promoted to 'super special consultant' or something? Besides, Lisbon will enjoy the evening more if I'm not there to wind up the big wigs. Think of the paperwork it might save."

"Are you serious?" I ask, because the rest of the team's mouths are open and sometimes I can't tell if Jane is kidding or not.

"Dead serious. You all leave at five fifteen? That gives me just enough time." He heads purposefully toward the door. "I'll be back before then. I just have to pick up a few things!"

I look back at the Boss. I can tell she's not happy with this, but she can't think of another solution and neither can anybody else.

"I'll be back before you leave, not to worry." Jane gives us that smile he smiles when he's just put one over on everybody and then 'swoosh', he's gone.

I spend the next forty minutes showing off Ben around the department. Even at two years old, he's a chick magnet. He giggles and charms everybody. He really is perfect in every way, and I even manage not to get my suit dirty.

"Do you think this will be okay?" I ask the Boss. "I mean for Jane to keep him? He can be a handful."

She smiles and says, "He'll be fine." Her voice is a little sad when she says that, but then she snaps into Boss mode. "Besides, he's right. You should come to the banquet."

Jane shows up a couple of minutes after five with several bags, and plops them onto his couch. "I'm ready," he announces to the bullpen and he looks really excited.

It's almost time for us to go so I hand Ben over to Jane. I expect him to cry a little, but quick as a flash, Jane pulls a balloon out of one of the bags and blows it up, and starts to twist it into an animal. I'm not sure Ben even notices when we walk out.

When we're all in the van, Grace says, "That was really nice of Jane."

"He didn't want to come to this." Cho is right about that.

"Maybe so but, it was still nice," she insists. She's such a kind person.

"Cho's right, he's weaseling out of going to this," Lisbon says. "But he's great with kids, I'll give him that. " And there's an awkward silence, because we're all thinking yet again about Jane's family.

The conversation moves on and soon we're there.

It's a good banquet. The food is great (especially that prime rib) and I get complimented by a lot of higher ups. The Boss is really great about giving all of us credit, and we appreciate it.

I text Jane in the middle of dinner: _How's it going?_

He sends back:_ Great. Stay as long as you want._

The only time Jane is brought up here at the banquet is when the Boss accepts our award, and mentions all of us by name as we stand there behind her. She just says, "Patrick Jane, our consultant, could not be here this evening."

The Boss does seem a little sad, and I think it's because Jane isn't here to make her laugh. We all know Jane is special to her, but darned if we can figure out where they stand with each other. Maybe they can't either.

I do worry about the Boss when we finally get Red John – and we will. If Jane gets himself killed or ends up in prison, I'm not sure how she'll cope. She was a mess when Jane left for Las Vegas that time. She pretended nothing was different, but we were all worried about her.

Most of the time I wish she'd find somebody else, to tell the truth. I don't think Jane will ever be a normal person, and the Boss deserves somebody a little less…crazy. Less of a headache. (Not that I could give anybody advice about avoiding unrequited love with a coworker.) We have a bet about whether the Boss and Jane will ever get together. Grace and Cho say 'yes'. I say 'no.' I have to admit, though, sometimes I hope they're right, just so we could watch it play out.

By nine thirty we all get our share of slaps on the back, and we drive back to the office. Grace and Cho peel off to their cars in the parking lot to head home, but the Boss says she has to pick up some things from her office. I think she's curious as to how Jane's babysitting went, but I keep my mouth shut. I'm still in the doghouse over that stripper I hired for her party.

It's quiet upstairs and the place is empty. When we get to the edge of the bullpen, the Boss puts her hand on my arm, stopping me.

Over on Jane's end of the room, it's a mess. There are several stacks of blocks on the floor, and some of them have Play Dough animals sitting on top of them. There are lots of balloons tied here and there, and there are balloon animals covering Jane's desk. Beneath them on the desk are a couple of plates of half eaten food - cheese cubes, cheerios, bananas and strawberries. Jane's vest and coat are draped over his desk chair, and over in the corner is a small playhouse made of case files stacked together. I hope they're not Red John files.

On the brown couch, Jane is stretched out on his back, his shirt untucked and his hair all messed up. Ben is sprawled on top of him with his head on Jane's chest, and his legs and arms are flopped off either side of Jane's body. The man has one hand draped protectively over Ben's back. They are both fast asleep.

I pull my phone out of my pocket and the Boss nods. We creep close enough for a good shot and the flash goes off when I take the picture. Fortunately, it's a good one. Ben doesn't move, but Jane stirs and then his eyes blink open. He looks down at Ben asleep on his chest and gives us a warm, sleepy smile.

I hold up my hand, telling him to stay there so I can get Ben's things together while he's still asleep. Jane nods slightly – he gets it. The Boss helps me gather up Ben's stuff. She's got a smile on her face, but it's a funny one.

"I'll clean all this up later," Jane mouths from his spot on the couch. Jesus, he probably spent fifty bucks on all the blocks and Play Dough and food, and stuff, I figure as I step over some blocks.

I nod. I've got everything rounded up now, and I motion to Jane that I'll take Ben. He puts his arms around Ben and slowly sits up on the couch without waking him, which is no small feat. Then he stands up. Ben stirs a little and I put my hands under his arms to lift him. I don't think I'm imagining it when Jane holds onto him just a little too long, because I think the Boss notices it, too.

"I hope he wasn't too much trouble," I whisper as I transfer my son to my arms and arrange his head onto my shoulder.

"He was an absolute…" (Jane's voice cracks just a little)"…joy." He looks down, but not quickly enough. I see the flash of regret in his eyes.

"I'll clean this up later," he mumbles without looking up. "You go ahead and get him home to bed."

"Thanks so much, Jane."

He nods his acknowledgement. "My pleasure," he says, still looking at his feet. "Gotta go upstairs now," he says, and quickly heads off toward his attic.

"Do you need some help, Rigsby?" the Boss asks, but her eyes follow Jane as he disappears up the steps.

"Nah, I'm good."

"Goodnight then," she says, and steps into her office while I retrieve my keys off my desk.

I decide to take a leak before I leave. It's amazing what you can learn to do with a kid on your shoulder. When I come out of the bathroom, I go back to get Ben's bag in the bullpen, and then I walk out past Lisbon's door. She's slumped over her desk, and out of the corner of my eye I think I see tears on her face. I keep walking, never letting on, because I know she wouldn't want me to see that.

Ben wakes up and cries a little when I put him in his car seat, but once we start driving he drops right back off.

I really do owe Jane for this one, and I'm sorry all over again about his family. A man that good with children really should have some of his own. He's a messed up dude, but I get him a lot better now that I'm a father. If someone ever did anything like that to Ben, I'd probably be right there beside Jane on the train to crazytown.

I shudder at that thought and put it out of my mind. I know that when it comes down to it, I'm the luckiest person on our team. Because not only do I have them as friends, but in the morning when I wake up, I'll have this wonderful little boy smiling at me and reaching for me with both of his warm chubby arms. I don't know what I'd do without him.

I do know that when the time comes, when we find Red John, I'll help Jane anyway I can. He may be our drunken uncle, but he's still family, and family is the most important thing of all. Guess who taught me that? When I get home and I put Ben down in his bed, I stand there in the dark and watch him sleep for a little while. And I'm very, very grateful.


End file.
